Keys to an ideal marriage

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8 KEYS TO AN IDEAL MARRIAGE.

An ideal marriage is one where there is more understanding than love. Love is only a fringe benefit. Ideal marriage has to be achieved with both partners being focused on each other more than anything or anyone else.

While looking for a good partner, please do serious homework and be sure of what you are getting into.

A good marriage is free of resentment due to inequality. If you know you will be intimidated by marring someone academically or financially higher than you; don’t marry. Or better still bring yourself academically or fanancially up to the person’s level.

Here are 8 keys that makes an ideal marriage.

“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.” Barnett R. Brickner

It is wise for couples to realize that a nice home, car, or retirement account may appear nice to have, but they do not make an ideal marriage. There are far more important principles at play.

They should learn to invest their money, energy, and time into the 8 essentials of an ideal marriage:

  1. Love/Commitment.

I will like to point out that, love is a decision to be committed to another person. It is far more than a fleeting emotion as portrayed on television, the big screen, and romance novels. Feelings come and go, but a true decision to be committed lasts forever—and that is what defines ideal marriages.

Ideal Marriage happens when couple make decision to be committed through the ups and the downs, the good and the bad. When things are going well, commitment is easy. But true love is displayed by remaining committed even through the trials of life.

2.Sexual Faithfulness.

Sexual faithfulness in marriage includes more than just our bodies. It also includes our eyes, mind, heart, and soul. When we devote our minds to sexual fantasies about another person, we sacrifice sexual faithfulness to our spouse. When we offer moments of emotional intimacies to another, we sacrifice sexual faithfulness to our spouse.

Guard your sexuality daily and devote it entirely to your spouse. Sexual faithfulness requires self-discipline and an awareness of the consequences. Refuse to put anything in front of your eyes, body, or heart that would compromise your faithfulness. You are guilty of Cheating when you have secret messages or videos that you wouldn’t want your partner to see

3.Humility.

We all have weaknesses and relationships always reveal these faults quicker than anything else on earth. An essential building block of a healthy marriage is the ability to admit that you are not perfect, that you will make mistakes, and that you will need forgiveness. Holding an attitude of superiority over your partner will bring about resentment and will prevent your relationship from moving forward.

If you struggle in this area, grab a pencil and quickly write down three things that your partner does better than you—that simple exercise should help you stay humble. Repeat as often as necessary. Remember that humility is a virtue.

4.Patience/Forgiveness.

Because no one is perfect, patience and forgiveness will always be required in a marriage relationship. Successful marriage partners learn to show unending patience and forgiveness to their partner. They humbly admit their own faults and do not expect perfection from their partner. They do not bring up past errors in an effort to hold their partner hostage.

And they do not seek to make amends or get revenge when mistakes occur. If you are holding onto a past hurt from your partner, forgive him or her. It will set your heart and relationship free. Unforgiving spirit is a slow but sure killer of marriage

5.Time.

Relationships don’t work without time investment. Never have, never will. Any successful relationship requires intentional, quality time together. And quality time rarely happens when quantity time is absent.

The relationship with your spouse should be the most intimate and deep relationship you have. Therefore, it is going to require more time than any other relationship. If possible, set aside time each day for your spouse. And a date-night once in a while wouldn’t hurt either. When last did you play with your partner and children?

6.Honesty and Trust.

Honesty and trust become the foundation for everything in an ideal marriage. But unlike most of the other essentials on this list, trust takes time. You can become selfless, committed, or patient in a moment, but trust always takes time. Trust is only built after weeks, months, and years of being who you say you are and doing what you say you’ll do. It takes time, so start now—and if you need to rebuild trust in your relationship, you’ll need to work even harder. Once trust is broken, it is difficult or impossible to gain it back

7.Communication.

Healthy marriage partners communicate as much as possible. They certainly discuss kids’ schedules, grocery lists, and utility bills. But they don’t stop there. They also communicate hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties. They don’t just discuss the changes that are taking place in the kid’s life, they also discuss the changes that are taking place in their own hearts and souls.

This essential key cannot be overlooked because honest, forthright communication becomes the foundation for so many other things on this list: commitment, patience, and trust—just to name a few.

8.Selflessness.

Although it will never show up on any survey, more marriages are broken up by selfishness than any other reason. Surveys blame it on finances, lack of commitment, infidelity, or incompatibility, but the root cause for most of these reasons is selfishness. A selfish person is committed only to himself or herself, shows little patience, and never learns how to be an ideal spouse. Give your hopes, dreams, and life to your partner. And begin to live life together.

This is a simple call to value our marriages, treat them with great care, and invest in them daily.

Accomplishing the marriage advice listed above will always require nearly every bit of yourself—but it so worth it if you want to learn how to have a happy marriage.

An ideal marriage is more valuable than most of the temporal things we chase. We can achieve this only when partners agree and work together.

Ifeoma Onyema 2020

12 thoughts on “Keys to an ideal marriage

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