Stick to what works for you -marriage has no formula

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Beware of the advices you receive from others regarding your marriage. As no two individuals are the same, like wise, no two marriages can ever be the same.

Don’t destroy your marriage because you want your home to be exactly like another couple’s home. What works for them might not work for you.

Some wash their husband’s clothes and it works for them. Others don’t and amazingly it works for them too.
Some cook for their husband and it works for them. Others don’t and shockingly, it works for them.
Some are full time house wife and it works perfectly for them. others are not and trust me, it also works for them.

Some know their husband cheats and it works for them. Others don’t know and don’t want to know and it works for them.
Some contribute to the upkeep of their home and it works for them, others don’t and it also works for them.
Some are in distance relationship and it works for them, others are in a close relationship and it works for them.
Some sleep in the same room and it works for them, others don’t and amazingly it works for them.

Every relationship works and will only work if everybody understands that no two marriages are the same, no two individuals are exactly the same, and no two situations are exactly the same.

Even when the situations are the same, the individuals are not and even if the individuals are the same, the circumstances surrounding those marriages are not the same.

We come online daily and read tons of articles about what people do in their marriage, the one that don’t wash is calling the one that washes a slave, the one that washes is calling the one that don’t wash bad marriage (wife) material.

One of the major destruction to 21st century marriage is social media counselors, articles, posts and testimonies.

What works for you? How sure are you that the person you are copying is happy? My dear, you are not mad, you are not a slave, you are not rude for seeking happiness.

One of your major goal is to seek happiness and peace of mind in your marriage, it can only be gotten if you understand that even if your name Is Amaka married to Emeka, you are not the same as your Amaka neighbor that her husband also bears Emeka. You guys are different and unique in your own ways.

Study your spouse and know what will work best for your union. Ignore what social media calls normal. Work out your own normal.

Please while you read things online please know what works for you. It might sound stupid to others but provided you have peace of mind and you are happy, please stick to it.

Everyone has their own share of challenges that come with marriage and everyone has their different approach to it. If you must copy, know what you are copying, know who you married, know you are different.

Your marriage is not second hand, fake or outdated because you are not doing what people online says they are doing. How sure are you that they are doing it? Some will tell you to quit but they have been enduring for years even when theirs is worse than yours

Please have a mind of your own, know you are different and seek for peace of mind and happiness in your marriage. It all depends on what works for you. So copy what you feel is the right thing and trust God to help you.

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Remain blessed
Ifeoma I. Onyema

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